Eddie goes after Lilith – a flash fiction

Doctor Simmelweiss was enthusiastic about the spoils of that night. A biochemist could use an archdemon’s brain to make several expensive medicines. The zombies would provide essential ingredients, and the mutants had many applications.
Eddie got ten thousand dollars for the load on his Swizz bank account. He also bought Helena a diamond ring and Vance a copy of playboy since Christian soldiers also needed to let steam off once in a while.
‘Impressive what you did to Sargatanas,’ the prophet Jeremiah said, definitely unimpressed ‘you want to take it up a notch?’
‘What do you mean, this was an archdemon?’ Eddie said as if he was stung by a wasp.
‘I have someone higher on the ladder in mind—a demon of the sixth Circle of hell. It would be best if you took a stab at Lilith. You would do a lot of unhappy men a pleasure, especially because she vowed as Adam’s first wife to raise humankind to the ground. I can’t count the number of stillborns she produced.
As always, Jeremiah got his info from dubious sources. He used to read old scriptures in a lot of foreign, ancient languages. Destroying demons was his life’s goal.
‘What do you think, Vance, do we go after her?’
‘The target seems fine to me.’
‘Every target seems fine to you,’ Eddie said ‘you would shoot your mother for cursing.’
‘Cursing is offensive to God,’ Vance stated, gazing at the nude woman in the playboy magazine.
‘First, I need a drink,’ Helena said. ‘I am thirsty.’
‘Great idea, Luv; I am all for that. Some O-positive would be great. Simmelweiss, do you keep blood around here?’
‘Mein Gott, this is a factory full of corpses; why shouldn’t we have blood? Go to the canteen and help yourselves,’ the doctor said amicably.

‘Lilith will be a tough customer,’ Helena said ‘never underestimate the scorn of a woman from hell.’
‘Bullocks, I shoot her a couple of times through the head, and it will all be fine,’ Eddie mocked her.
‘We would benefit the holy mission with some prudence,’ Vance butted in.
‘Piss your boots, Vance; Lilith isn’t my main concern. I need to have a binge drink after this, get pissed and soil a swimming pool,’ Eddy exclaimed. He could get into incomprehensible rants sometimes.
‘Quiet, dear,’ Helena replied, ‘you see things too simple. Lilith killed over a hundred men already. She probably will tare to vampires too. Some even say she is the original vampire.’
‘I let my six-shooter decide, honey, if I could cut off her head with my katana can I get a special reward, my sweet?’ Eddie asked Helena holding her frosty hand.
‘Oh, stop it, Eddie.’ Helena said, annoyed, ‘I am having my periods and am not in the mood for screwing around with you.’
‘Where can we find this Lilith,’ Vance asked.
‘Probably in the sleaziest bar around,’ Eddie replied ‘let’s try the Horny Rooster out. A lot of sailors hang out there who want special treatment at night.

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